2012 – 2027retired
Nintendo Network
“Free online play for 3DS and Wii U, gone to the big leaderboard in the sky”
“Free online play for 3DS and Wii U, gone to the big leaderboard in the sky”
“Small tablet, big heart — it left the stage the moment its heir stepped on.”
“It made moving pictures from mere words, then moved on.”
“One year of flagship duty, gracefully handed to the next generation.”
“It heard us the first time, every time. Rest easy.”
“It streamed while others shuffled; rest easy, home of all things Perry.”
“Every pay-per-view, no extra charge — the nest egg of wrestling finally hatched.”
“The tower stood tall, even when the cheese grater years got a little round.”
“Two sizes, four colors, barely a year — gone before the screen protector wore in.”
“The budget iPhone with a notch, a USB-C port, and no MagSafe to call home.”
“The widget drawer of the living room finally closed — gently, after a very long nap.”
“A quieter corner of the internet, logged off with its servers still warm.”
“The last of the ring/silent switch, and the first to say goodbye to Lightning.”
“One year on the throne, then handed the crown to its successor and went home”
“Rented here, bought here, loved here — now your collection watches you from memory.”
“Every match, everywhere, no blackouts — gone before the final whistle blew.”
“Rented by the chapter, remembered by the shelf”
“Small body, huge heart — the phone that proved good things come in small packages”
“Gave up Lightning, gained USB-C, and left the stage after one graceful year.”
“Poured out for the last time: $146M in beans, no profit, all heart.”
“Checkmated at last — folded gracefully into a bigger board, never into oblivion.”
“The little dongle that made every dumb TV feel like a smart one.”
“Cherry and Vanilla, better together; the fountain flows on, but the bottles went home.”
“She set our reminders and answered our questions; we never thanked her enough.”
“Launched with the 360, retired with dignity — thanks for every theme, demo, and Arcade download.”
“Good battery, better legacy — the small phone that left on its own terms.”
“It held 300 shows and a million commutes; the playlists go on without it.”
“It drank with us once, and the internet was never the same.”
“It won a Pulitzer, then the budget meeting happened.”
“Six seconds was all it needed to change everything”
“Pronounced verve, spelled VRV, remembered as both.”
“Three networks, one SⱯLTO, and a shared goodbye.”
“It saw you whole — all 360 degrees and seven microphones of you.”
“He ran through every level; the servers just stopped running with him.”
“It told a generation they were the coolest kid in school. Rest easy, flame emoji.”
“Free, quiet, and dependable — the antivirus that just did its job and asked for nothing.”
“It gave the Start button back, and we forgave almost everything.”
“It rang up your groceries and your cash, and never once asked for a reboot mid-checkout.”
“Signed off live, with fan subtitles for every language left”
“Fairway found, stream ended.”
“Absorbed into Meet and Chat, but forever the group chat where we actually lived”
“It asked the questions so you didn't have to”
“The future of gaming, streamed briefly, buffered forever in our hearts.”
“The phone that brought back MagSafe and finally ditched the charger box. Bold moves.”
“Lived 30 days, outlasted by the merger that killed it.”
“Untouchable, he said. The box said otherwise.”
“A sweet slice of Android history, served to millions and loved to the last byte.”
“It carried us into the Intel era and out the other side. Rest well, old friend.”
“Pro by name, ProRAW by nature, gone before its second birthday.”
“It took classrooms to the ends of the earth on a cardboard box and a phone.”
“Intel inside, warmth outside — gone but still glowing on a million desks.”
“Comfortable, easy to set up, gone before its successor could take the strap off.”
“It put virtual worlds on ordinary faces and ordinary budgets, then quietly took the headset off.”
“Born for a birthday, gone by spring: Mario never overstayed a party.”
“Twenty-one years of watching the world from a cat's eye, then the curtain quietly fell.”
“Space Gray, quiet as a whisper, gone before the candles were even lit.”
“It let seven million of us build the levels Nintendo never made.”
“A sweet little OS that kept your battery alive longer than most of us keep New Years resolutions.”
“Rode cheaper than a coffee and never once blamed traffic on the schedule.”
“Folded flat, opened worlds, and cost less than lunch.”
“The last home button of its line — press once to remember, twice to miss it.”
“Small in hand, smaller in headlines, loved anyway.”
“35 candles, six months of cake — Mario left the party early, as promised.”
“It powered your GPS and your dashboard; you never saw it, and it never complained.”
“It cut the cord so we didn't have to. Rest easy, pioneer.”
“The first Pro iPhone, and it earned the name.”
“It freed VR from wires and gave us Passthrough to find the couch again.”
“The login worked everywhere except the reason you got it.”
“It untethered VR from our PCs, then quietly untethered itself from us.”
“Gone quiet in 2020, still holding everyone's opinions politely in reserve.”
“The birds flew home to Rio, and honestly, who could blame them.”
“Cord cutting never looked so good until the cord cutters outgrew it”
“It kept 50,000 of your songs safe, then quietly handed the aux cable to YouTube Music”
“Version 11 at last, after twenty years of 10s. It earned the extra digit.”
“A Virginian with bite; the porch is quieter now.”
“Your phone really was a PC all along. We just weren't ready to believe you.”
“It dreamed big, but the rest of us never quite put our phones in it.”
“Gave its all, including the jack it left behind”
“Your movies lived in the cloud before the cloud knew what to do with them.”
“Jesse saved the world eight times; nobody could save the servers.”
“An iPhone that never asked for your phone number, and we loved it for that.”
“Every format, any theater, one ticket at a time — gone far too soon and far too messily.”
“It snoozed our emails but could not snooze its own end.”
“It linked everything to everything, except people to people. Rest well, +1.”
“It split your screen, tamed your notifications, and never asked for thanks”
“Fifteen thousand subtitled stories, one final subtitle: The End.”
“It lived, it lived again, and its photos lived too.”
“It measured your influence; we measure our grief. It was considerable.”
“Nintendo's first phone app, where Miis asked polite questions and we answered anyway.”
“It backed up everything, including, eventually, itself.”
“It gave Android its paper feel, and Android never looked back.”
“The last OS X: solid as the rock it was named for, and just as hard to replace.”
“The last Lumia: a quiet business phone that closed the book with its sleeves rolled up.”
“Made space for everyone. Nobody showed up. Rest easy, little app.”
“It told the time in black and white, and we loved it in full color.”
“Show me a streaming service with human taste, and I'll show you Shomi.”
“The best-selling iPhone ever — it grew up, got bigger, and so did we”
“One cable, one gorgeous panel, and six years of staring past your work at your wallpaper.”
“It modeled worlds for film and games, then quietly signed off. Good night, XSI.”
“It gave the iPhone a wardrobe. The fun one in the lineup, dressed in every color at once.”
“Picasso's house is closed, but every album we made still smells faintly of red-eye reduction.”
“First 64-bit phone, last with Jobs in its bones, and the button that knew your finger.”
“Traded coins for tote bags and playing cards; the happiest checkout receipt of gaming.”
“No fan, one port, all nerve — it flew off on butterfly wings.”
“It brought back the Start menu, and for that we forgave everything else.”
“Announced in June, gone by July — it lived fast, loved briefly.”
“Live Tiles, dead platform — but the Metro look never left our hearts.”
“He made a bird we couldn't stop tapping, then took it away to save us from ourselves.”
“It put the whole web on your couch before your couch was ready for it.”
“Your homepage, your rules — the web tidied up, and somehow felt less like home.”
“Sent with a hand-drawn heart, delivered via StreetPass, missed every day since.”
“Ran Office forever on one battery charge, but never got to run anything else.”
“Thinner, lighter, and gone before we got tired of looking at it”
“It cropped, it styled, it resized — then it went to live on a cloud farm upstate called Google+.”
“It lived up to its name, then quietly rode off into the prepaid sunset.”
“It held the door open to the web for millions, then politely showed itself out.”
“Nudged us a thousand times, then signed off for good.”
“The little blue light kept working while you slept. Rest now, old friend.”
“Beautifully flat, ahead of its time, and stranded by its own family.”
“A unit of knowledge, measured, and found lighter than Wikipedia.”
“It read the logs so you didnt have to — the quiet ancestor of every analytics dashboard.”
“A steady climb, a quiet goodbye — the mountain rests.”
“It moved the Start button. We're still deciding how to feel about that.”
“Five inches too soon, forever too loved”
“The cat that let the iPad raise your desktop. Purr loudly, big friend.”
“Two years, a billion dollars, forty-eight days on the shelf — gone too soon, loved anyway.”
“Where our desktops learned to wear their hearts as gadgets.”
“It saw you wave. It never needed a controller. Rest easy, Project Natal.”
“The whole world on a spinning disc, and it never once got heavy.”
“One language, one framework, one last Turbo — gone with the whole family.”
“Small screen, big first love: it fit the whole internet in a bag.”
“Zero new features, infinite fondness: the snow cat just quietly napped into history.”
“It fact-checked the internet's favorite encyclopedia, then quietly bowed out.”
“It let you edit your friends' pages, and no social network has trusted us since.”
“It played the losing side's movies beautifully, and never once complained about it.”
“Every eight seconds, a new homepage. We never did learn HTML, and didn't need to.”
“Free, legal, and lovable - just never profitable. The hardest chorus to sing.”
“Free voicemail with your name on it — gone quiet, but the tone still echoes.”
“It helped you find voices in the noise, then quietly found its own way out.”
“The wasteland finally reclaimed its own — engine cold, radio off, dust settled.”
“Checkmated in the end, but it went out by choice, not blunder.”
“Shut down with a thank-you note — the politest goodbye a trading card ever got.”
“A clean paradise, kept spotless to the very last tide.”
“It asked only for a blinking cursor and gave us the whole PC era in return.”
“Alfa's Violin has played its last movement, and the garage is quieter for it.”
“Nine million pixels before anyone knew what to do with them.”
“Went out at 9,800 rpm, carburetors intact, dignity fully intact.”
“A purple friend who told jokes and took notes — rest easy, buddy”
“Three-on-three, fifty-six heroes, one impossible dream team — gone too soon”
“A quiet room for loud ideas, argued in good faith until the lights went out.”
“Sent kanji as pictures when keyboards could not, and never quite found its audience.”
“It taught the world to point and click, then stepped aside with its trash can emptied.”
“Online gaming's awkward first draft, three years before anyone was ready.”
“No seller fees, no fuss, no survivors outside Taiwan and Japan. Rest easy, old rival of eBay.”
“A handle, a monochrome glow, and enough speed to feel modern for a while.”
“It never let its windows overlap, but it opened one for everyone else.”
“It let your windows overlap, and the desktop was never the same.”
“No new looks, just better memory — the quiet cousin who fixed the plumbing.”
“The ideas outlived the domain name.”
“It read your handwriting before you could — and forgave you anyway.”
“Two short expansions, one long salute from the Inner Sphere”
“Eight bits of grey, one big button, and patience. Rest easy, old scanner.”
“A Mac at heart, trying its best to be a game console.”
“0.3 megapixels of pure nerve — the camera that convinced everyone digital was worth it.”
“It came from beyond, then quietly went back.”
“Worth less than it cost, worth more than we knew”
“It gave Unix the internet and the internet a backbone. Rest easy, Berkeley.”
“First to the smartphone party, left early because the battery died.”
“The last of the little Macs, colorful to the very end.”
“The last Quadra to arrive, first to bow out, still a bargain at the farewell party.”
“It bulged so your classroom didn't have to.”
“Twice the speed, $700 less — it left before the students even noticed.”
“One machine, four names, four feet, and no case screw — Apple's cheapest way in never had to shout.”
“Born a Centris, died a Quadra, served everyone a slice of pizza box all the same.”
“Two names, one good machine: it outlived the Centris line and retired with its fans' blessings.”
“AV stood for audio and video; for fans it stood for ahead of its time”
“Half the price of its big brother, somehow faster. Classic overachiever move.”
“It spoke, listened, and played video before it was cool — then gracefully stepped aside.”
“It gave us TrueType, screensavers, and flying toasters — then quietly let 32 bits take the wheel.”
“Brief of tenure, big of heart: the only II to moonlight as a Performa.”
“The last of its family, and it carried a CD-ROM drive to the grave.”
“Low Cost, Low Color, full heart — the Mac that let everyone in.”
“Six months of tower duty, then a quiet handoff to the 950. A pioneer's exit.”
“It layered memory on memory, previewing every goodbye in real time.”
“No screws, no fuss, no fanfare — it just snapped together and quietly left”
“Alps switches, ADB ports on both sides — it left the desk with dignity”
“The last Apple II — it did nothing new, but did everything it knew, one final time.”
“You pressed the buttons, but the show still went on without you.”
“Hundreds of pilots at a time, and every flight sim since owes it a wingtip salute.”
“It typed the future onto tape, then let the tape run out.”
“All gold inside and out — gone in 1959, still shining in every memory.”