2017 – 2024retired
Lego Life
“Built brick by brick, and by kids: a corner of the internet that played nice.”
“Built brick by brick, and by kids: a corner of the internet that played nice.”
“Nine LEDs, 5.7 inches of OLED, and a million living rooms turned into rabbit holes”
“Every old game had a home here; now the house lights are off but the cartridges remember.”
“It burned our memories onto discs that outlived the software that made them.”
“No glasses needed, no invitation required — the 3D just worked, and so did it.”
“A modest revision that became a beloved classic — now folding its screens for good.”
“It gave up the 3D and kept the games — flat screen, full heart”
“The all-in-one that was, mostly, about the games all along.”
“Two analog sticks, one gorgeous OLED screen, and a lifetime of handheld love”
“The shop closed its doors, but the theme song never left our heads.”
“Small games, big ideas, one little channel on the Wii Menu.”
“Second screen, first in our hearts”
“The supercomputer for the living room finally took its well-earned nap.”
“A palindrome to the end: gone forward and backward all at once.”
“It fit a console in your pocket, and for a while, that was enough to change everything.”
“Three red lights, a hundred green memories”
“One year of vacation on Golden Island, then home before the photo album filled.”
“It got everyone off the couch. That was the whole point, and it worked.”
“No discs, no cartridges, no goodbye — just a console that streamed its heart out for the developing world.”
“Five to twenty dollars, countless downloads, one brand that never made the next-console cut.”
“It folded shut like a good book, and it never lost our place.”
“The boulder rolled on; the bricks stayed golden.”
“Small screen, big legacy: the last Game Boy went out tiny, tidy, and dignified.”
“Big heads, bigger lips, and a briefcase full of early-2000s attitude, missed daily.”
“Small, purple, and only interested in games — and all the better for it.”
“It scanned the cards, saved the data, and left us wanting a sixth game.”
“It had no main model to build — so you built everything.”
“A phone that dared to be a Game Boy, and a taco that dared to be loved”
“Born of a broken deal with Nintendo, it outlived the grudge and everyone's expectations.”
“Big, green, and first to put a hard drive where its heart should be.”
“Two films of brick-built web-slinging, then the wall-crawler crawled to a rival.”
“Green screen, gray shell, endless afternoons. Batteries sold separately, memories included.”
“Four controller ports, zero regrets.”
“A memory card with dreams of being a console — it never made it out of Japan, but Japan loved it enough.”
“160 million homes, one DVD tray, zero regrets.”
“It dial-up'd so consoles could broadband.”
“Small screen, big joystick, heart of gold — outlived by everyone who played it.”
“Arrived late to its own party, brought a clock, and rewrote time anyway”
“He fought on-screen villains, 9/11-era skepticism, and a 2016 reboot — only the reboot beat him.”
“Sixteen bits, eight audio channels, and infinite weekends on the carpet in front of the TV.”
“It slowed your voice down and sped up the holidays; no kid ever asked it to stop.”
“It dreamed of classrooms and ended up a game console. Honestly, a fine retirement.”
“It taught us letters, counting, and that Sonic could do homework too.”
“Eight processors, one mission: make great games. Rest well, complicated friend.”
“It brought $300 cartridges down to CD prices, then made you wait a minute to play them.”
“It cost a fortune, played like the arcade, and never once pretended to be for everyone.”
“Project Mars never quite landed, but it gave the Genesis a brave, brief boost.”
“Product of the Year 1993, gone by 1996 — even Time can't save you from a price tag.”
“The first 64-bit system, if you were willing to meet it halfway”
“One console to rule movies, music, and games — provided you could afford the modules.”
“The quiz-master of the living room, gone quietly after two short years of gentle fun.”
“160 times the space, and it used some of it to play full-motion video. We loved it anyway.”
“Blast processing its way into our hearts, one 16-bit cartridge at a time.”
“It saw the future in red, briefly, through a visor nobody else wanted to wear.”
“Blow on the cartridge one more time, old friend — it'll come back.”
“A tower PC in console clothing — polite, upgradable, and thoroughly ignored by polygons.”
“Smallest major console ever, biggest heart in the lineup”
“First of its kind, gone by New Year's Eve — Marty left the party early.”
“A keyboard-less computer with big dreams, gone when its maker went under.”
“A CD player that dreamed of being a computer, a decade too polite to say so.”
“Fifteen years, one joystick, and a cartridge slot that never said die.”
“A computer in console clothes, it never quite decided what to be and we loved it anyway.”
“It dialed up the future through a Famicom, then hung up politely when the call was done.”
“Britain's first homegrown console: sleek, RGB-ready, and gone before the kettle boiled.”
“Same beloved heart as the C64, minus the keyboard, minus the buyers.”
“It buried its treasure, and the map was never quite the same.”
“8-bit underdog with 3D glasses — it lost the race but never lost the plot”
“It played your VHS tapes like they were games. Honestly, it tried.”
“It had Vision in the name, cassette in the heart, and Japan in its corner”
“It typed, it played, it dreamed of being both — rest well, hybrid heart.”
“It played its rivals' games better than they did — that's a hell of a party trick.”
“Four knobs, two buttons, one nation hooked before Nintendo showed up.”
“It brought its own screen to the fight, and the fight ended anyway.”
“35 games, 18 months, endless clones — the Arcadia lived on in everyone else's living room.”
“First family of home gaming, bowing out with dignity while the party crashed around it.”
“Sega's first swing, and every game it loved still runs on its children.”
“Six games, three million consoles, and Nintendo was off to the races.”
“A hearing aid maker taught Europe to play. It heard the call, then bowed out in 1983.”
“The last TV Jack brought its brains to the family reunion, then retired.”
“Ten thousand proud first years, and a lightgun named Videotraf to prove it.”